You’re Not Lazy. You’re Overwhelmed. There’s a Difference.
How Burnout, Grief, ADHD & Emotional Load Disguise Themselves as Laziness
Have you ever laid in bed, staring at the growing list of things you should do… but you just can’t move?
Not because you don’t care. Not because you’re lazy.
But because your body feels heavy. Your brain is foggy. And even the thought of getting up feels like climbing a mountain.
More often than not, what we call “lazy” is actually a nervous system in overload - weighed down by emotional, mental, or sensory exhaustion.
What’s Really Going On?
When your nervous system is overwhelmed, your capacity to focus, plan, and take action shrinks. This isn’t about willpower — it’s about neurobiology.
Here’s what may be happening beneath the surface:
You’re experiencing executive dysfunction, a common experience in ADHD, trauma, or grief - where motivation, planning, and memory feel jammed (or non-existent).
Your nervous system is in a state of chronic stress (fight/flight) or collapse (freeze/fawn), making even basic tasks feel unsafe or impossible.
You’re running on emotional backlog - suppressing or carrying so much that there’s no capacity left for productivity.
You’re navigating grief, which naturally disrupts your ability to function, concentrate, or feel motivated, even months or years later.
You’ve internalised the message that rest = laziness, and now feel shame every time your body asks for a break.
Sound familiar?
Then you’re likely not lazy - you’re running on empty, without a map back to yourself.
Signs It’s Overwhelm (Not Laziness)
You want to do the thing… but feel physically blocked
You oscillate between guilt and inertia
You struggle to start, even when the task is simple
You forget important things and feel ashamed afterward
You feel deeply tired - not just sleepy, but soul-tired; tired to your bones
You scroll, overthink, or freeze instead of acting
You fear being judged as lazy, and overcompensate when you can
This is nervous system depletion.
And it deserves care, not criticism.
The Impact of Shame
When you label yourself as “lazy,” you activate a cycle that reinforces collapse:
➡ You feel exhausted
➡ You can’t do the thing
➡ You feel shame for “failing”
➡ You push harder or shut down
➡ You stay stuck
This shame spiral doesn’t create motivation - it deepens burnout.
What Actually Helps (Instead of Shaming Yourself)
1. Shift the language
Instead of: “I’m lazy.”
Try: “I’m overwhelmed and my body is asking for support.”
Naming your state without judgment can soften the grip of shame.
2. Body-first, not task-first
Don’t force productivity from a dysregulated state. Regulate first:
Shake out your limbs
Step outside
Press your feet to the ground
Inhale for 4, exhale for 6
Offer yourself a hand-on-heart moment of grounding
3. Start tiny
If you’re in freeze or overwhelm, set micro-goals:
Brush your teeth, then rest
Open the laptop - don’t start the task yet
Drink water, then check in again
4. Acknowledge invisible load
Are you grieving? Masking? Caretaking?
Doing emotional labour no one sees?
Of course you’re tired.
Let’s honour that your “nothing” is often everything.
5. Ask: What does my nervous system need right now?
Sometimes the answer is:
Connection
Safety
Sleep
Permission to do nothing
Sometimes it’s a cry for therapy, pacing, or being witnessed.
A Gentle Reminder:
You are not lazy.
You are not a failure.
You are carrying more than what’s visible, and your nervous system is doing its best to protect you.
Want help untangling overwhelm and self-criticism?
At Counselling with Mollie, I offer:
Online counselling (Australia-wide)
In-person sessions on the Gold Coast
Specialised support for grief, ADHD, burnout, trauma, and nervous system overwhelm